the birth story of our little man

(Within our little guy's first few days, I wrote down his birth story because I didn't want to forget any details of the day. I wasn't sure that I wanted to share this on my blog, but decided to do so. I love hearing and reading other people's birth stories and thought someone might enjoy reading about the day. I also have had a lot of people ask about the home birth and would love to raise awareness about what a home birth could look like and share how it went for me. I have edited out some of the details that don't really need to be shared with the whole world, but have left most of the story as is. I hope you enjoy reading about the arrival of our little man.)

Jeremy’s Dad arrived for a twelve day visit on Thursday, May 17. My due date had come and gone on Mother’s Day, May 13, and I was feeling very pregnant and uncomfortable and ready to have a baby! On Friday, we went to the zoo and walked around for about three hours. We ran into my midwife when we went out for ice cream afterwards and we all agreed that we hoped the next time that we saw each other was when I was in labor! On Saturday, Jeremy graduated from seminary. On Sunday, we skipped church (I didn't feel like hearing everyone's comments about how I was still pregnant!) and went out for bagels and then for a morning walk in the Nature Preserve. The high that day was 93 degrees and it was really humid. By the afternoon, our house was feeling quite unbearable and I was antsy to get out, so we headed to the mall. Dad stayed with our girl while she played in the playground area and Jeremy and I briskly walked around the mall about five times.

We headed home and ate dinner. I was noticing that I was having contractions and thought they seemed to be pretty regular. I timed them and they were about 5 to 7 minutes apart, but they were not painful at all. I had also been having cramps all day. I thought something might be starting, so I called Yolanda, our midwife, around 9 pm just to let her know. She told me to go to bed so that I could get some rest. Dad, Jeremy, and I were playing a round of Rummikub, so we finished the game and I headed to bed.

I woke up around 3 am and was feeling really uncomfortable, so I decided to get up. Jeremy woke up too and came downstairs with me. I was having contractions on and off, but nothing really significant. It felt a lot more comfortable to be out of bed. I sat on the exercise ball and had a snack. Jeremy set up the birthing tub in our dining room. Around 5 am, I decided to lie down on the couch and try to get some rest. I dozed until about 7 am. Yolanda called around 8:30 in the morning to check in. I told her that I was having slightly uncomfortable contractions about 3 to 4 minutes apart. We decided we would check in by phone around 4 that afternoon unless things changed before then.

My contractions started becoming more intense as the morning went on, but I breathed through them and found them very manageable. Jeremy’s Dad took our girl out around 10:30 am (they were planning to be out all day and spend the night in a hotel, so we didn't have to worry about her).

Around 11 am, Jeremy and I decided to go for a walk. We took a good walk around the neighborhood. I felt that my contractions were getting more intense, but I was able to walk through them and we enjoyed walking hand in hand and talking along the way. After we got home, I took a shower and was having some stronger contractions. When I wasn’t having a contraction, I was still able to talk and walk around the house. I sent a few emails. I ate some chicken noodle soup and we tried to watch an episode of a show online but the contractions were stronger and I wasn’t able to concentrate on the show, so we turned it off. 

We decided to take one last belly photo (this pic was taken in between contractions at 1:45 pm, about 3 hours before our little guy was born):

I felt like I didn’t quite know what to do with myself at home, so we headed out for another walk (it was about 2 pm). We walked about six blocks and my contractions were getting to the point where I had to stop, lean on Jeremy, and breathe through them. Of course, people were driving by and we were probably quite a sight laboring right there on the sidewalk! I remember both of the walks we took that day as very special times...walking with Jeremy and realizing that soon we would meet this little one!

We got home from the walk around 2:30 and I was really starting to feel things picking up. Jeremy called Yolanda to give her an update and to ask her if it was okay for me to get in the birthing tub. She said that was a good idea, so Jeremy started filling the tub. We decided to check in with Yolanda in an hour. In between contractions, I was walking around the house, helping Jeremy fill the tub, and doing various little tasks. When I would have a contraction, I would stop and lean on whatever piece of furniture was nearby and try to breathe and relax. Throughout the whole experience, I kept thinking, “Wow – this really isn’t as bad as I thought it would be”. 

I got in the tub around 3:15, while it was still filling. It didn’t provide the immediate comfort that I expected, but it was still helpful. I found that it was most comfortable for me to be on my knees and lean against the side of the tub. Around 3:30, things started to get really intense, to the point that I told Jeremy that I needed him with me. He knelt by the side of the birth tub and I leaned on him. I found myself clawing at the back of Jeremy’s shirt at the peak of the contraction (and the next day I saw that he had quite a big scratch across his back!). He calmly held onto me and encouraged me. I told Jeremy that I thought we should call Yolanda and tell her to come over, so he did.

Around 3:45 I suddenly felt like I was pushing during a contraction. That feeling scared me and I said to Jeremy, “I feel like I’m pushing!” I’ve never seen him move faster than the speed at which he jumped up, grabbed the phone, and called Yolanda back. She was already on her way over and said she would be here in a few minutes. Jeremy stayed right by my side as I had a few more contractions before she got to the house.

We were both so relieved when Yolanda walked in the door. She quickly began setting things up and then she checked me while I was in the tub. She said that there was just a tiny little lip of the cervix left and that she wanted me to have three more contractions to get rid of the lip of the cervix before I started pushing. I couldn’t believe that I was already that close to having the baby and I asked her for clarification. She assured me that this was really happening and that I was doing it. I was so relieved that the end was in sight! I had a couple more contractions and I felt my water break with one of them. She checked the baby’s heart rate and it was 140.

Yolanda helped me lean back into a semi-sitting position against the side of the tub and then I started pushing. Jeremy’s head was right by mine and he was constantly encouraging me and telling me that I was “kicking ass” with each contraction. Sometimes he would whisper into my ear. He offered me drinks in between contractions and was so supportive and kind.

Yolanda instructed Jeremy to reach down and feel the baby’s head, which he did. He was so excited and was so encouraging to me that I was doing it and that soon we were going to have a baby. I was moaning with each contraction and trying really hard to avoid any kind of screaming or high pitched sounds because I know that they are not as helpful as low sounds. I felt like I was pushing SO hard. Yolanda has such a soothing voice and she repeatedly said, “We want to have a gentle birth, just a gentle birth”. 

In between contractions, Yolanda grabbed my hand and guided me to feel the top of the baby’s head. That motivated to get that baby out! Shortly afterwards, Yolanda said that the cord was wrapped around his neck. I had to hold off on pushing for a bit while she took care of that (not an easy task when everything in your body is saying that it's time to get the baby out!). She said that we were going to get the baby out on the next contraction, so I pushed really, really hard. I remember saying, “It hurts!”, “I’m shaking!” and “I just want to be done!”. I just kept breathing and pushing and then all of a sudden he slid out of my body and I was pulling him onto my chest. It was 4:48 pm.

He was very purple and didn’t start breathing right away. Yolanda rubbed all over his body and covered him with a towel. I was a little scared and asked if he was okay. She assured us that he was, he just needed a little extra time to transition. I was rubbing his back and talking to him and then he started giving little coughs and breathing and eventually started crying.

After our little guy started breathing and I knew he was okay, I remember leaning my head against the back of the tub while he was lying on my chest and said, “I did it. I cannot believe I did that!” After months of wondering if I could actually have our baby at home and sometimes doubting whether I could handle the pain, I was so incredibly proud of myself and amazed at my body. Jeremy cut the cord about ten minutes after he was born.

our new little one (sucking his thumb!)

I moved to the couch, and Jeremy got me a drink and a snack and Yolanda cleaned everything up. I nursed baby. Yolanda did a newborn exam and weighed him. We were all shocked when he weighed in at 10 pounds, 10 ounces! He was 21.5 inches long. 

Getting weighed...

Look at that little smushed newborn face!

The newborn exam...

A proud daddy and his boy!

 We called our families to share the good news and snuggled with our new little guy on the couch. Yolanda left around 7:30 and Jeremy and I got takeout for dinner. We spent a quiet evening at home together, soaking up our new baby. We were exhausted and full of joy.

     

Enjoying a hard-earned beer with dinner that night!

This birth was an amazing and bonding experience for us as a couple and we grew in our love and tenderness for each other. Walking hand in hand through the neighborhood as we anticipated meeting our boy, holding onto Jeremy as I experienced intense contractions, Jeremy's tenderness and encouragement to me while I was pushing...they all made me love and appreciate him more.

May 21, 2012 will go down in the books as one of the hardest and greatest days of my entire life. I am so thankful that our little guy is here – safe and sound. I am thankful that he had a gentle birth at home. I am thankful for Yolanda and her part in our experience. I am thankful for Jeremy and his love for me. And I am so proud of myself for having a natural and beautiful birth at home.

time for an update

oh, poor neglected blog. i haven't felt much like writing here lately, but decided that today is a good day for an update.

we are having a lovely rainy day today. jeremy had class this morning, and then we saw the midwife and ran errands together, which was really nice. his semester is winding down and as of last week, he is done with all of his major assignments and has just a few minor assignments and exams left. it is nice to have more time with him these days.

baby continues to grow and is doing well. yesterday we hit 38 weeks, so we are getting wonderfully close to meeting this little one! at my appointment this morning, i was measuring right on for 38 weeks, baby's heart rate was 148 and he is head down. our midwife said that i am a "textbook 38 weeks". good to hear. i am feeling very ready to have this baby, and at the same time, i can't believe that tomorrow is already may - the month of this baby's birthday! overall, i have really been feeling pretty good. i have times of feeling uncomfortable and of course, there's the heartburn, lack of sleep, having to pee all the time, etc...but i really feel good most of the time and don't have much to complain about. (the pic below was taken at 37 weeks...i've gotten a significantly shorter haircut since then).

we've been keeping busy around here. i have been feeling pretty energetic during the day (not so much in the evening, as i fall asleep before 10 every night!) and have been getting all kinds of projects done. actually, this morning i told jeremy that i was bored because i have cleaned everything in the whole house (including vacuuming every nook and cranny on saturday), everything is organized, and i have all of my big projects done. i've stocked the freezer with all kinds of foods and have run out of room. there's not much left to do but have the baby. then i will have plenty to do!

we've been having some good family times. we went to our local gardens and saw some butterflies. our girl was thrilled to have one perched on her finger!

on easter, we had a little egg hunt in our backyard. it was a lot of fun!

jeremy and i went out for a wonderful date on friday night. it was so nice to go out and have time with just the two of us. once the baby comes, date nights will look a little (lot!) different, so it was nice to have one last date before we have a newborn around again.

these days...

i am sitting down with a mug of hot tea for the first time in days. iced tea has been my drink of choice for the past ten days or so as it has been hot, hot, hot! we've been having record breaking temperatures around here. spring suddenly appeared and this is the one year (probably ever) where i didn't feel like i was waiting and waiting for it to come. our winter was so mild and really hardly even felt like winter - what a treat. the trees are budding and the flowering trees are blooming, daffodils have popped up, and the birds are chirping. we've been really enjoying the weather, although when it was close to 90 degrees the other day, this pregnant woman was struggling a bit! i told jeremy that if this weather keeps up, we will have to install our window air conditioner in our bedroom! i hardly have any summer maternity clothes, so i've been washing and rotating my three short sleeved maternity shirts with the one pair of jeans that i can easily roll up. it might get to the point of having to invest in some capris and a couple more short sleeved shirts, though i would rather not invest in those things since it's for less than two more months anyway.

our girl enjoying the weather and trying out her bike!

our little one is upstairs "resting". it seems that she has decided to boycott naps, but rest time in her room is still good for her. she sings and talks to herself and occasionally eventually falls asleep, or i get her up after an hour or when she starts to cry. i haven't even seen jeremy yet today because he left early for a breakfast meeting. the days when he is already gone when i wake up just don't quite seem like they start out right. i miss him. we had good playtime with friends this morning, which helped break up the day. it feels like the afternoon is slowly crawling by, but i shouldn't complain about that because usually i feel like the days fly by too quickly.

yesterday the little one and i drove out to the farm to pick up our milk. we arrived about two minutes after a calf was born in the field. it was laying on the ground by it's proud mama who was licking it off. beautiful. i love that we get to see things like that when we get our milk, instead of just picking it off the shelves at the grocery store. and i love that our girl sees the cows who make the milk that she drinks. it just seems so right.

after seeing the newborn calf, i was driving down the road marveling at the beauty of new life. then a bird flew in front of the car and i hit and killed it. it kind of ruined the moment.

this girl makes me laugh.

this pregnancy

this pregnancy has been so different than my last, it was no surprise to me that it was a boy. i had a brief moment of panic after the words, "it's a boy" set in. this could be largely due to the fact that i have four sisters and no brothers. i wondered what we are going to do with a boy...and i couldn't help but fast forward to the teenage years - yikes! i took some deep breaths, reminded myself that thankfully boys come as little newborns, just like girls, and thought of all the little boys i know who love their mamas. that last part really got me. our girl is a bit of a daddy's girl, so the thought of having a little boy who thinks his mama is extra special makes my heart melt a little bit.

this has been a pregnancy of fruit. there was a brief phase near the end of the first trimester where it was all about cereal, but it didn't take long before i moved onto fruits. first it was grapes. i think that was around week twelve. all i could think of was grapes - green ones, not red. i went to the store three times that week to buy more organic green grapes. i just couldn't get enough of them. next it was clementines. then grapefruit. oh grapefruit - i would eat one every morning with breakfast and then sometimes even snack on one later in the day. last week it was strawberries. this week it's oranges. i don't mind all of this fruit eating - better than some things i could be wanting to eat. there is a pineapple ripening on the counter and i have a feeling that might just be the next target of my fruit obsession! i have a feeling this baby might just be a fan of fruit when he hits the solid food stage.

last night i finished up our daughter's baby book - something that was on my list to do before this baby arrives. i know that usually all of the kids after the first one get less photos and memorabilia to look back on when they are older. i am determined to give this baby a baby book. it might not be as detailed or as beautiful as his older sister's, but it will be a baby book nonetheless.

that's another funny part of this pregnancy...i have been in nesting mode since before i even knew i was pregnant. once i got that positive pregnancy test, i thought, "OH, this is why i've been sorting and cleaning every cupboard in our kitchen". this is great news for our house. i've been decluttering and reorganizing like crazy. it's not great news for my husband who has to put up with my impulsive ideas about what furniture must be rearranged "right at this very minute because i can't stop thinking about it and it's driving me crazy". thankfully, he is very patient and helps me out as he is able.

while i was finishing the baby book last night, i was looking at photos of my first pregnancy. i thought that i was carrying this baby about the same way that i carried our daughter, but i realized that is just not true. i definitely show a lot more with this baby and he also seems to be higher. by the end of my first pregnancy, i still thought i looked pretty good. i have a feeling i won't feel the same way about this one.

also, i've had an extra sensitive nose this time around. the other day when we were driving home from our travels, i suddenly smelled flavored coffee. it was such a strong smell, but jeremy was sitting right next to me and said he didn't smell anything. finally, a little while later he said that he did smell something that kind of smelled like flavored coffee.

speaking of my extra sensitive nose, as i was sitting here i started smelling something that smelled like it was burning. turns out, it was our computer charger. it recently started fraying and we taped it with electrical tape, but i have been worried about the fire hazard ever since. i looked down and the part with the electrical tape looks like it's splitting and i smelled it and that is definitely what i was smelling. don't worry, i unplugged it. i guess we'll be getting a new charger.